Why do some people think that when you are not working and you are young, they think that you are lazy. But, there are many moms that work inside of the home.. I am one of them. They believe that in order to work, you have to be working outside of the home. I know that you can make just as much money as a person whom works outside of the home. So, why the anger issue of what should a woman be doing with her life. As a stay at home mom, yes it gets rough sometimes, but it can be the same way, if I was to work outside of the home. I have seen where many people will work, especially women, and they only have enough money to pay their rent and bills with. And maybe $20.00 or so left on them. This goes on gas.. Some women whom work outside of the home, is dead broke. So, why do some people make a big issue of what a woman should be doing? Many women and men are becoming stay at home parents, where they are working.. And others are at home because they may receive funds from the government, such as SSI, Disability Benefits, Veterans Benefit, and so on.. A woman should be given what right that she so desires to stay at home with her kids.. Why do others look down on a woman as this? She works just as hard as a woman whom has a job outside of the home. I have an problem with people whom judge women that are stay at home moms, and men too. What are your remarks to this discussion?happy
[question posted by cream97]
responses and comments:
What was it called, The Feminine Mystique? It all came rolling down on stay at home moms when feminism broke through. Instead of truly celebrating all the things available for women, it made stay at home moms appear less what they really are. I'm not a stay at home mom, I have no children. But no one should kid themselves. Women who stay at home are looked down upon. I have been places where women ask each other what they do for a living. One woman answers that she is a SAHM, and then the looks appear. Someone is rude enough to ask if that is all they do? A mom in general has the most important job in the world. I'm not saying feminism didn't bring benefits. But in their strive to become equal and their eagerness to burn their bras (using sarcasm here), they forgot that women are to support each other. They are to rejoice in having a sisterhood that stands up to discrimination. And if women don't support each other, how are men supposed to? [AmbiePam]
Yes, you are right! Women should support each other. They should not look down upon one another as less than what they are.. It is so sad to see this happen.. We should spend more time building each other up, not tearing one another down..sadsad [cream97]
Some people don't realize what all women have to do at home, its a tough job being a stay at home wife or mom, there is always something to do at home, you never run out of things to do, like housework, even late at night I still find myself doing something in the kitchen, then when you add kids to it, the work is never done, its a tough job, I'd like to see some of those people stay at home for a day with the kids, and try to get it all done, by the end of the day, I guarantee they'll be pooped. [walijo2008]
Yes, they would.. There are plenty of things at home to do as a mom.. I can testify to that! I stay doing something.. If it is not for me, it is for my kids.. I never have free time like I desire. I wish too. But, unlikely I have none.sad [cream97]
Hi cream97, You are right about that, I myself is on disablity benefits and its not funny to have this illness and slos I have to do what I have to do in the home, though I haven't got any children, I still have to to do things for the hubby who goes to work, thee money i ge in not much but it helps with the food side whil my hubby pays for every thing. I do have some peopl look down on me but I don't really want to wish them the illness tha I have. Tamara [tamarafireheart]
Yes, I am sorry that you are going through a tough time with your illness. It should not be this way.. People need to take a glimpse out of another's life, and see what it would be like, if they were in the other persons shoes..sadsad [cream97]
I'm with you on this, I'm a stay at home dad and sometimes I'm viewed as a man who can't take care of his family. I'm taking care of my family by being there for them in any situation instead of dealing with it from an office and shouting commands that don't work. Who cares what anyone thinks about you if you stay at home or not, are they going to take care of your family? No, nuff said. [gitfiddleplayer]
No, they sure are not going to take care of our families.. You are right! The only thing that they are good for taking care of, is running their fat trap!glare [cream97]
Hello, Cream97. Society has this thing as a "rule", which says that everyone, to be officialy working, must be working really hard to earn their money. They must face the high sun on their heads and listen to a lot of crap said by their bosses. Otherwise, it is considered an easy work, and they don't believe in easy work. Therefore, you aren't working if you are staying at home. It sounds easy to them. They don't know how much effort you put, but for them it is easy. "Her work? What work? She stays at home the whole day! She has no work. I wish I could work from home too." You should just accept the fact that there will be people who will consider you a not working person. Just make sure you earn a lot of money and get your life on. Don't worry about what they say. What matters is how much you are earning. Are you earning enough? Are you where you want to be? Are you satisfied with your current work? If yes, then worry about nothing anymore. Just keep doing what you are good at and let others think whatever they want. Respectfully, Munhozmib. [munhozmib]
You are right! Only the father can judge our lives. And he really dosen't do that. He is so forgiving when it comes to his children.. I wish that all people can be just like him. If it was, then there would be less time for being ignorant..sad [cream97]
because they consider work when you are earning and i think its about time to introduce mylot to all mothers at home so they will consider as a working mom since it is proven that mylot really pay each members who met the respective payout. [skywolfcel]
You are very right, busybody!! There are many women that wished that they could be home more with their child... My sil is one of those women. She told me that if her husband was making more money, she would stay home with her son. She is a teacher, and she wants to be home more with her son. But, she has to work, she has no choice, but I do. Yes, many women want to be at home.. They just will not say so, but the feel it.happy [cream97]
Yes, I agree with you wink... I also don't understand why do moms classified as not working women.. They also work hard for their family.. I think people are only just value the "money" or the "earnings" that they can get when they work outside homes.. We all know that all housewife or "moms work at home" don't earned money.. They might thinking that because they were not earning money then they are already useless since they can't share expenses with their husband or help pay bills.. They don't feel the tiredness as those people working outside.. I know that working moms at home also get tired of taking the household chores and taking good care of the husband and children but they were thinking that at least you are at home and can take a rest anytime you want while those people working outside can't rest except during their break time.. I am not saying that it is a fact that I've mentioned above , it is just some of my thoughts/opinions about your topic.. These are some of the things that came out from my brain.. Well, i am not yet a mother.. I'm still single but I have a boyfriend.. My mother is a housewife same as you.. She is just a full time mother at home and I know she is very tired taking good care of us.. I know how much effort she have done to be a good mother and good wife to her husband.. I can see all the effort and sacrifices she have done for us.. I know that being a full time mother at home isn't that easy.. lol I guess people just don't really understand how difficult to be a mother/women.. [kissie34]
Yes, they don't understand what it is really like to be an stay at home mother.. That is why they should stay home for a couple of days with the kids, to just see what it is like being at home.. Maybe then they will get to really know what it is like for us women.happy [cream97]
I don't know. I struggled with low self-esteem over this issue. My self-esteem really should be secondary to that of my children. I have a lot of friends that stay home and it doesn't bother me the way it did in the beginning. I think women that work wish they could stay home and women that stay home think they should be working etc. We all love our children and want what is best for them. That is what really matters. I have know mothers that cry after dropping their babies off at daycare. I think we all do the best we can. I am very fortunate to have a husband that wanted me to stay home. [AnneMarie39]
Yes, I know, it is always the other way around, so it seems! The real deal is, what matters that we all do what is best for out kids.. I agree!happy [cream97]
I've ran into some people who say that we're working people too and even more so because we don't get paid to do what we do. When my husband first retired, he found out all that I do during the day while he was working. It's surely not sitting on my behind all day. There's errands to run, bills to pay, laundry to do, house cleaning to do... I could go on forever and ever!! lol Like the saying goes.... "A man's job is done with the sun but a woman's job is never done!" [CatsandDogs]
Yes, a woman's job is never done! There is always something that has to be done for us women! There is no sitting down, no, no, no..sadsad [cream97]
hahahaha!! who cares if I am staying at home? Well, they should not under estimate women who are staying at home. As long as they are not asking money from anybody, why people are so cruel to women who are staying home? I said cruel because of their comments.lollol yes, you are right!! there are many women who are working but hardly have enough for bills and other needs. There are many stay at home moms who know how to earn at home and save money. They would be able to care for the children and their home duties. So, what's the problem with it? As long as they are not starving why make an issue? Women are not ordained to work and provide for the family needs in the beginning. It's the man's responsibility to provide the needs not the woman.happy [Bebs08]
Yes, you are right.. It really is not our responsibility to work.. It is really the man's responsibility to.happy [cream97]
I think, if you could make money and be a stay at home parent. Then, that is great and I wish I knew how you do it. So, that I could. I am a working mom and I can barely make ends meet. My car is always giving me trouble. And, when winter comes I don't know what else to do to make it. I think if you could stay at home and take care of your kids and make money. Then, I am all for it. And, you are helping by saving gas. [Carpathian]
Yes, it has its benefits of being at home.. Saving gas and day care costs are a few to name..happy [cream97]
cream I have great admiration for stay at home moms as they are wo rking long long hours whereas a lot of days are nine to five then come home and flop for the night. You stay at home moms have the biggest and best job in the world, raising your ouwn children.Working outside the home is hard too for a lot of women as they dont get p;aid the same as men do. Nobody should look down on you for doing what you feel is best for your kids.You deserve some praise, not some insulting. more powerto you Cream. [Hatley]
Yes, I do deserve praise not insults! We stay at home moms all do!happyhappyhappy [cream97]
Hi you have a good valid qusetion. i honsetly believe they are jealous that they don't have that opportunity to be home with the children and also make a living. I envy those that have found steady income working from home and be able to be with their kids all the time. i wish I have found at home jobs sooner so I will not have to work outside, now most of the jobs require certain skills that I don't have and it will take me too long to build that right now. But I intend to one day, wish me luck And good luck to you too. Working at home is one position to be admired because you work 24/7 without breaktime or lunch break. [ch88ss]
Yes, I work at home more than I am working outside of home.. There are no breaks for me, except when I go to sleep!happyhappy [cream97]
People like to fuss about alot of things. I think it's something as old as time for society to whisper and gossip about what individuals "aren't doing proper". Yeah, we've come a long way...but that doesn't mean this kind of stupidity is dead lol. I'm wondering how I'll be looked at, next year, since I'll be doing something pretty radical for a living -- sort of a completely off the grid but HONEST job. (Growing plants to sell fresh produce, or other goods...to sell from person-to-person. Flea markets, farmer's markets, roadside...ebay. To avoid pesky paperwork, stupid rules, and to be both free and supported by my own hard work). I live in a farm state, but the way I'm going about it is pretty new for this decade...and being so young, I just can't imagine. People whispered about me to begin with, because I am sort of odd -- at least I'm different than alot of people around here. I dunno. It's interesting how people react... critisizing a lady for how she lives is a favorite past time of people -- and I really hate that it is, but...what can a person do other than ignore them? Judge not, right? [xParanoiax]
Yes, you are right!! They are just talking just to hear them self talk.. We have to ignore people that don't have anything worth while to do with their lives..happyhappy [cream97]
People automatically assume that when a woman stays home with the kids that she is just doing something that is natural for her. There are no skills attached to being a stay-at-home mom or wife. But they are dead wrong! I, for one, think that those who stay home and keep the house going and take the kids to their events should also be paid! I'm sure they would earn so much money and much more in overtime too. Also, a lot of people forget that women who have jobs outside the house come home to another job. It's like their second shift. [SaintAnne]
Yes, you are right on this one.. A woman that has an job outside of the home, has to come to another one when they get off of the first one.. It is a big task! And we stay at home moms should be paid. I was just thinking about this the other day..happyhappy [cream97]
i don't think that SAHM should be viewed as not working... instead, they work harder than other women who work outside and i really appreciate and respect them a lot... it is not easy to be a SAHM because you have to work 24/7 non-stop... and you don't even get paid for it... that's why i say being a SAHM is not easy at all... take care and have a nice day... [lingli_78]
Yes, we are non stop on working, and what is sad, is that we don't get paid for what we do either.. So, why should women whom work and get paid, be co jealous???confusedconfused [cream97]
i dont know but the same is with house wifes.. especially if they dont have kids.. i am a housewife due to health problems keeping me from getting/keeping a job and i do things at home to make money which it isnt much but at least i am trying.. but every one views me as sitting around getting fat and being lazy.. its really insulting.. and they also seem to think if there are no kids there is no reason you should be at home.. [moonlitmagikchild]
Oh I know the feeling!!! It is true, you can gain weight even if you are not on any medication. I agree! I have an cousin that took sick, and they put her on medication and she blew up!!!! This happens a lot when you are on the depression pills! So, I am an witness to this!! I am in the process of doing my appeal as of now. I spoke to my Chiropractor and he says that I don't need to be doing any work at all. He said that if I was his daughter he would not let me go get an job. I am 30 years old, and when people look at me, they see an healthy looking woman. I am not sick looking. So, that is why they think that I should be working. But, before my back stared acting up on me, I have always wanted to be an STAM. Yes, along the way we may get discouraged, and looked down upon, but you have to do what you have to do. No one can make the best decision for you, but you alone! Yes, I can go out and get an job, only to find out that I will be quitting it, just as fast as i have gotten it! I am not going to put myself at risk for my health. No job or nobody is that important enough!glareglareangry [cream97]
I think we can all "thank" Gloria Steinem for that! She's the one who started the Women's Liberation Movement. After that began, women were EXPECTED to work outside the home to "pull their weight". I guess Ms. Steinem never had kids and probably hated housework! It's a HARD job! I had the worst of both worlds when my kids were growing up. For the majority of that time, I worked from home doing typesetting and proofreading, sub-contracted by several different printing and publishing companies. At times, I would work 14 hours a day! I made more money than I would have working in-house at one of these companies! BUT, everyone thought that, since I was at home, I wasn't doing anything! Friends and family would call me whenever they wanted, just to chat about nothing! I was busy working. If I didn't work, I didn't get paid so every time I was interrupted by a phone call, I stopped making money. I worked full-time, took care of my two boys (almost exclusively by myself) and took care of the household chores, repairs, cleaning, cooking, shopping, helping my kids with homework, yard detail, getting maintenance on the car, etc.... I did it all! But no one saw it that way because I was HOME! Maybe it will just take a few more centuries before people begin to realize that staying at home does not mean that you don't do anything! Sure, if you live in a pig sty with filth everywhere, dishes piled up in the sink, etc. you probably don't do anything. But, if you are a typical stay-at-home person, you're busy! Even without working from home, housework can be very strenuous and time-consuming. I have physical problems so I need to rest often, but that doesn't mean that I don't do anything! I do much more than my husband does around the house. On his days off, he sometimes doesn't even get out of bed! He'll lay there and watch TV, take naps, watch more TV, etc. I'm up and all over the place cleaning, straightening, working on my craftwork and my website, gardening, etc. So, I, for one, don't think that anyone who stays at home is lazy! Quite the opposite! I'd say that 99.9% of people who stay at home are quite busy doing all they can! [mentalward]
You are all right!!!!!!!!!!! We women have a big job.. I used to tell my mother-in-law this all the time.. She would get mad, when I really did not have time to talk, but what it really was, I was so busy with the kids.. I usually go to bed early at night because I get up so early in the mornings.. I was exhausted, by none at night. While she could stay up, I was getting very sleepy.. I had so much to do.. And I am still a very busy woman.. I will always be, until my kids are older enough to do things for themselves.. That is just the way it will be.. No matter what others whom are ignorant may think of us!glareglare [cream97]
I don't know This peeves me. I am a work at home mom and I work my but off. I get so tired of people thinking that a work at home mom doesn't do anything. I am doing from the time I get up until I go to bed, that is way more than the usual 8 hours anyone spends at work. Dude just pull out the pedal steel guitar and start rocking your heart out I went to "work" outside the home to keep me from doing quite so much. I worked less being on a job that I worked my butt off. [moondancer]
Yes, we do if for the love our families.. To be appreciated, would be nice.happy [cream97]
I believe that people just find "stay-at-home" lazy because they don't always have to get up at the crack of dawn and work until dark, like most people do. It's rude to assume that they are lazy, because many moms are at home because they can't afford the child care. If it's not work to some, you can come to my house and man all 5 of the kids here and the two grown men. Do all the laundry (which averages 70 loads a week--and no that's small compared to bad weeks), feed the kids by 4 after school, do the homework, get all of them in and out of the shower inbetween 7pm and 8-pm, check Kota's ears because he never washes them. Feed the dogs, seamonkeys, and the birds, Make 2 other separate meals for the two grown men, because they don't like spaghetti, then go to work 3rd shift for the newspaper until 6am. And then start your day over again. I would love to work a regular job at 40+ hours a week, but right now, I can't. I have no one wiht any sense to watch my kids after school. 2nd shift seems to be the only shift available. No one around wants to watch the kids, feed them, and everything I do after school. Life is hard, and I try. People should be more open-minded. COme to my house one day if anyone thinks that it's not hard work, and here's the kicker, you get a paycheck, I get complaints and love from the kids--who's richer now? [peedielyn]
Yes, you are right! I was trying to make my sil understand this. She thought that I had it so easy because I was a stay at home mom, but I had to tell her that I wished that I was getting paid for the work that I do. She gets a paycheck from teaching, and I get zero from being at home.. So, there is no need to get jealous or judgmental.glare [cream97]
Well I am not a stay at home Mom nor do I work at home(does My Lot count? LOL), but I am a full time housewife & trust me we get judged the same way. Just because I no longer work I am looked apon as lazy. Trust me I am anything but. I always make sure my apartment is clean, my pets are fed & walked, the laundry is done, & the meals are made. But yet people still view us housewives as lazy. I'd like to see these very judgemental people get down on their hands & knees & scrub a tub or worse a toilet till it shines. Of how about sticking your head in an oven so you can clean the inside as well as the outside of it. These very same people wouldn't be making these same judgements again after spending a week doing what we do, so my advice is don't let any of them bother you. I think it's wonder that you work at home & at the same time can be there for your kids whenever they need you. [photographygirl73]
You are right! Many women and men envy us all for being at home! They wished that they could have the chance to do what we are doing! I salute all women and men for such an hard effort! It takes patience to do this. They do need to try it out, and let us see what they will have to say when all is done!glareglareglare [cream97]
That always bothered me, too. I was a stay at home mother for 19 years and it was HARD WORK!! Nobody every looked at the clean house, the home cooked meals, the clean laundry, the cars that were regularly serviced, the kids who loved having Mom at their school functions and volunteering in their classrooms, or the freshly home baked cookies. When a mother works outside the home, they don't realize how little they are actually earning. After spending money on clothing and accessories for work, gas, wear and tear on the car or bus fare, gas, child care, lunches, fast food because there's no time to cook--the average mom would be better off staying home. If they don't like raising their children they should give them to people who will love them--believe it or not, a lot of women say that staying at home is not fulfilling. What they really mean is that a life of service is not one they enjoy. Because being a mother IS a life of service! You be strong and keep your pride in staying at home for your children. You are raising your kids the way they're supposed to be raised--with a loving parent at home to support them at all times. [dragon54u]
You are right! We have much to benefit from when staying at home with our children! It costs less to be home than it is to work outside of the home. I love being an part of my kids life as much as possible.. I like to be involved with them. I love the closeness that this brings.. This will follow them as they get older. I don't know why others turn their noses when they find out that a woman stays home with her kids. That should be her choice, not theirs! If this is what makes her happy then she can feel free to make this decision without anyone's consent. If they don't like their job, then quit.. But my job is for life!glareglareglare [cream97]
This is a very good topic and one I think about a lot because I have spent several years in the corporate world doing the 9 to 5 thing and was well respected for doing so. But then my health started to fail and I began to look for work I could do from home. I have had some success and some failure but I never stop. The thing that gets me is that my family does not respect my need for computer time. They think all I do is play on the computer and so they get mad when I tell them I need to get on to place ads or do training, etc. They only want to play games and I do allow for that but they don't realize that I the more time I lose the more money I lose. [lumenmom]
I've been on the search for a WAH job and when I tell people this, they turn their noses up and don't think it's real work. There are lots of really good jobs out there that you can do at home and you can bring in real money too. I just finished Real Estate School and will be taking the Licensing Exam soon (wish me luck)and plan on selling real estate. And even that gets people thinking it's just a waste of time because of the way the economy is right now. I always tell them that this is the perfect time to get into the business because I can use this time to learn the business. And besides all that, moms who don't work (like me right now) are still working at home. We are called Domestic Engineers and we are more than just women who stay home all day doing nothing. Our jobs as Domestic Engineers requires us to be interior decorators, house keepers, answering services, accountants, landscapers, etc. It's a job where we have to wear a billion hats and you know what? It's the best job out there and one that is worth more than a paycheck! [Dugsmom]
Why be hard on stay at home moms? I think that every woman should have the right to live her life as she please. If she want to stay home and care for her house and family it is her right and nobody should try to make her feel that she is less than. Many mothers are making sacrifices for what they want. Just as if a man had to suddenly take care of his mother that was ill. He would have to make sacrifices because he would not want to see his loved on out in the street. A real mother would not want to see her children being raised by somebody other than herself. As you never know, that other person could be teaching your children the wrong kind of values........Everybody has gotta do what works best for them and their situation..... the only one that can judge is God. [Citychic]
Hi there cream97, Im very envy of you, working at home is the biggest dream of mine. I will not think sad for what other people thinking. As long i have income that can provide all needs. people that judge are called "kuno" (=indonesian its mean old fashion thinker. but some might be understand eventually if you tell "online working" mean and how much you got from it, I am sure that they will not under estimate you anymore. further more, remember the idionm: "Smart brain working less" ? that is what you are Happy posting always, dear!!lol oxoxox'dian from bali island. [diansinta]
People say women stayed at home are lazy just bad-mouth them! I like an article I read before very much, it said a woman working outside get paid and would have vacation, benefits, others' respects and self-esteem of their own. But a stay at home mum work 365 days a year!!! Why shouldn't a stay at home deserve some respects from others? I agree with you that stay at home mums are not lazy! They choose what they desires as the women who work outside. [HelloMickey]
Stay at home moms actually have one of the best and hardest jobs. They don't get paid a lot to be a mom. It can be frustrating and rewarding. There are a lot of stay at home moms who also work at home. This means they are holding down two jobs. These work at home moms are not given the same respect as a mom who works outside of the home. It is sad. My personal opinion of why this difference in viewpoints occurs is: Jealousy. Work at home moms are doing something a lot of people would love to do and are not able to do. So they are envious and slightly jealous of those work at home moms. [royal52gens]
hiya cream I dont think people, especially bigotted men realize just how much a woman does have to do in the home. Raising children in itself is a full time job and there's housework on top of that, some women do internet work too, so 3 roles in one is no easy task. Here in the UK mothers are being asked to leave kids of 1 year old and above to look for work and have their children put into child minding services. i don't think a mother and child should be separated at such a young age, even more so with the amount of paedophiles coming out of the woodwork! Alice happy [Aliceinwebland]
no its not fair. i think most stay at home moms are harder working than others. i just got turned down for a job because i have 2 years of stay at home mom. how am i supposed to get a job if they all turn me down because i took the responsibility of raising my step daughter when it was needed. i have a strong job history b4 that. it makes no sense to me. i would look at a person in that place as maybe a better hire because they have that dedication... [lovinlifemindless]
Why are work at homes viewed as not working? Because some people are ignorant. Why are working moms viewed as not caring properly for their kids? Because some people are ignorant. Wouldn't it be nice if people would stop being so judgmental? [dawnald]
Hi, cream. I was a working, stay-at-home mom for 20 years! I began working from home when I was pregnant with my first son. I was so sick and was consequently fired from my office job. (The woman who fired me had always hated me... she was much older and looked like she could have once been quite cute and I was young and bubbly... she resented that.) I know I could have fought getting fired for being pregnant but I didn't want to work for them any more anyway. That's when I began working from home. It started slow but gradually grew to the point where I was making MUCH more money at home than I ever did in an office. Of course, some days I'd be working 14 or so hours per day. But, I preferred it that way. I got to be home with my kids, didn't have to worry about babysitters, traffic, "office" clothes, etc. If I needed more money, I worked more hours, simple as that. (I was a typist, then a typesetter, then proofreader and copy editor.) BUT, everyone outside of my work didn't see me as "working". I was living in a house I had bought to renovate and sell. It took 15 years, since I was doing it myself, for the most part, and the neighborhood wasn't a great one; most of the mothers in the area were on welfare so I think they just saw me as finally being like them. What you should be doing is reading your French Cookbook so you can learn to cook better for your man so you don't step out. Couldn't have been further from the truth! I worked my butt off! Full-time mom, full-time work and renovating a house... I was one busy person! But, even my own family thought of me as not working because I was at home. My sister used to call me and ask me what I was doing. I'd say I was working, then she'd just continue talking as though I had all the time in the world! Even if you're not working from home, being a mother is a full-time job in itself! Kids are not easy to raise! It's one of the hardest jobs out there. [mentalward]