in the philippines it is common. i came from a family that has my father going home annually and staying with us for a month since i was 5. he retired when i was 30. since then, i vow to myself, i'd only have one child. deprivation of any form with the excuse that i have a lot of siblings is something i view as inconsideration for the basic right of any child to have both parents by his side when he is growing up. i'm grateful for my parents but since i am a parent now i still don't have any idea why they chose to have a lot of children when they know they cannot normally provide for us.
[question posted by Ritchelle]
responses and comments:
My husband and I have five kids together. I don't think we ever thought we'd have so many but it just happened. I really think having so many kids is nice. They play with each other and they are their own little team. I used to get the same kind of thinking from people about having so much but you know my husband is the only one that works one job. I stay home with the kids and we spend time together. I think God has provided for us very well to be happy. Honestly I don't think my kids are like needing things, we just live simple at times. My older brother is a great provider for his family but he works double shifts for only two kids. They have more materialistic things in their life that they have to keep up with to pay. Maybe it was something your parents wanted was to have a big family. Children are a blessing and as parents they wanted to provide you with what they could do. My parents had four kids and honestly they worked very hard. I think now they regret not seeing us grow up. I have spent the most time I can with my kids and I tell my husband to trust in God that he will get us through these years. [andalond]
thank you so much for such an enlightening and humbling reply. however, it's good to know that you can make ends meet and you're happy. i guess, it's the most important thing anyway. what's worse is being in a situation one never wanted to be in the first place, right? [Ritchelle]
i think whether you have one or many children one still needs to spend time with them. I mean how can you ignore them anyhow. If it is the issue of being able to provide then yes think before we have children. But if you can do have two. I have seen single children and I feel that they would finally lose out in this increasingly selfish world. There is nothing like family and siblings. Give them a chance to have one other sibling. A little stretch and having someone of our own blood may still turn out better than having everything but being single and have no will to share it with. Friends are not the same as siblings. [anura32]
i've been getting the best answers. guess, i hit a good topic. thank you so much also for this wonderful insight. :) happy mylotting! [Ritchelle]
See the conditions they faced ever u dnt know and u'll never know until he tells u the truth. so thinking of past can make u more dipressed. Dnt look back my frn go ahed. u have bright future ahead in life. and the answer to ur question is yes, so many times i too have to scarifies family for my work it can be office work, it can be frnd, it can be my dramas practice and so many things where i have to scarify in life either for family or for any other thing. I think scarifying and adjusting with situations is wat a Life. Thanks for this topic. Have a nice day ahead. [dange_amit]
no way its the other way around I would sacrefice work for family, work is not important when you have kids, aslong as you can feed and look after your family then work is not important whats important is giving your kids what they want and thats your time pure and simple. [benny128]
Any time there is more than one child in the home they will have to share things. They will have to share family funds. They will have to share family assets. They will have to take turns watching tv or playing games. They will have to share their parents' attention. I grew up with several siblings and wouldn't trade them for the world. Now that I have my own children, I see that I would have better been able to provide for just one child but I don't think they will ever consider themselves to have been deprived of anything just because they had siblings. It is always sad when a child does not have both of their parents around. This can happen for several reasons but the result is pretty much the same for the children. My father left when I was very young. If I could've given up some siblings to keep him around, I'd have never done it. [Lee_Rites]
friend before i joined mylot i used to give more importance to work only but one day i post about the same on mylot and many peoples gave me good advice and now i cannot sacrifice my family for work "THanks mylot" ...Keep mylotting [chimrani]
i wouldn't... family is number 1 for me and if i already have children, i will definitely stay at home to take care of them... i will let my hubby to earn money and i will look after the house... isn't it the calling for men and women roles in the Bible??? so i will stick to it... at the moment, i don't have a child yet... so i am still working hard to save money... take care and have a nice day... [lingli_78]
Personally, no. I come from a family where it's like this: God first, family second, work third, friends fourth. Those are my main priorities in life. I don't agree with people who spend more time working, or hanging out with friends, and barely spending time with their family. People say that they have to work to make money to provide for their family and survive but honestly, people survive everywhere will very little money, sometimes even none. Anyway, I'd never sacrifice time spent with my family for work. Not even with the economy the way it is. Family is everything. [jeneias]
It depends on the circumstances and also on my family and work.IF I am getting enough support from my family, I'l choose them or if the job is more satisfying then I'll go for the job.Its an evil world..you know ! [amey_dev143]
hi friend, Last year i my graduate so i got a job in a good company.Presently my work is good to me and very much satisfied with my job and no problem for me.Now i am very much helpful to my family.Now sacrifice with my job and work. When i will start mylot in the evening time and this is my part time earnings from home. [23uday]
When the children we're still young we sacrifices taking care of them by delegating it to their baby sitters. We devote our time from morning to afternoon working. We sacrifice the family for work just to earn for their future as well. I happened to sacrifice my work, however when I have to take care of my aging sick mom and personally attend to her personal needs on her last 2 years on of her life. No regrets, sacrificing my work for the family this time. [bing28]